she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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