I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
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We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
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Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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