I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
