it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
