We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
