my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
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