After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
