Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
