I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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