Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
