I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
