Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
