so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can't turn off my feet"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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