its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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