I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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