Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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