Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
