FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
