if i can run in heels then i can drive
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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