I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
