Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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