Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize