I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
