Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
