yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize