It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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