In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
