as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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