WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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