I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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