Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
