In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This is my gift to your gina
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
