It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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