At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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