Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize