Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize