I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
