I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
