is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
