took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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