i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
