how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
