I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
