I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
whose parrot is this?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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