Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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