He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?