He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.