"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?