sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
