I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
