In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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