Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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