Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
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Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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