Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
