I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
