after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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