its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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